I have never been one to give up (mostly because I don't take on things I know I can't handle). I've always taken pride in the fact that I stand by what I say and that I stick to my principles. If I'm gonna lie, I'm gonna do it really well that even I would believe it. I think this comes from a fear of being called out, of being told that I'm going against what I say and that I'm not as good as I claim to be.

Lately, however, I've stopped caring about how I look to others, specifically the office. And I don't mean look as in my outfit and my hair, but look as in me as a person. To be honest, I've just stopped caring about this job. Not that I purposefully don't do my job, more like I'm gonna do the bare minimum. I arrive at the office an hour after official time-in, and I leave the moment the clock strikes 6. The first thing I do when I get to my desk is update on social media; actual work doesn't happen until my boss has something for me to do. The amount of work I actually do I do in 3 hours.

If I were a total asshole, I'd just stop coming in and work from home. But I'm not, so I just come in late and pretend to be writing e-mails when the general manager walks by.

I've stopped caring and I feel like I should feel guilty. But I've stopped caring about feeling guilty, too, so...

P.S. I only have 8 days left until my resignation kicks in so GOODBYE COMPANY

It's the stuff of values textbooks and GMRC homework.

Earlier today, I took my usual route to work. A jeep to Pinaglabanan, and then a jeep to Ortigas, where I would catch a bus to Boni. As I got on the bus, I noticed that the conductor seemed out of sorts, and not the sad melancholy kind. He seemed hungover, or still drunk. I didn't mind because I didn't really care. As he did his rounds and gave out tickets, I handed him three 5-peso coins (fare is Php12). Another passenger handed him a bill, and then he handed me my ticket. I still had my palm out waiting for my change. He asked me "magkano binayad mo?" to which I answered "fifteen." He replied, brusquely, "wala ka bang dos?" to which I answered, meekly (because I'm super sweet and demure), "wala po."

He started grumbling under his breath and I found it funny because dude, it's not like I gave you a thousand-peso bill, calm down. I only need my three pesos back.

He handed me a 20-peso bill and a couple of coins. He misheard me and thought I said "fifty."

Right then and there I debated with myself whether I should keep the extra extra extra change or give it back, and right then and there I felt guilty because I shouldn't need to think about it; it was the right thing to do to tell him that he gave me far too much change and be done with it.

But the guy was rude, and it was only 7 in the morning.

What stapled my decision to keep the extra cash was how he acted during the rest of the ride. He hit me twice while walking along the aisle (and I understand that people will bump into you on public transport, but he hit me hard and didn't even have the decency to utter a sorry or an excuse me). He was rude to other passengers and seemed over it. Unlike most other conductors, he didn't herd the passengers into a neat fashion, nor did he alert passengers regarding bus stops.

I didn't need the extra money, but I'm not gonna be nice to someone who is obviously incompetent at what they do (how could he have confused what I gave him when it was only just me and one other guy who paid at the time?) and doesn't care if he's rude to other people. So thanks kuya, for the extra Php25!!! <3