Let the bough break, let it come down crashing.

I've created a playlist of, in my opinion, the most heartbreaking songs. A lot of Robyn, Sara Bareilles, and the odd Atozzio. Sam Smith, Adele, Whitney, Up Dharma Down, etc. Wallowing is a good thing, because it confirms what you're feeling, it makes the situation real, it slaps you in the face that hey, it's actually happening, you're actually alone now. It makes you accept the fact.

What sucks are the happy songs. Whenever I hear a genuinely happy song, the kind that sad people write, it's incredibly heartbreaking. Sad people write the happiest songs because they're not used to it, I think, so when they feel that joy, that blip of happiness, they put it into words so beautifully, they make it a song. So Bareilles's "I Choose You" has been a real bitch lately.

It's not the sad songs that get to me. They help me, actually, because they push me to acknowledge whatever's going on, I get to see what I actually feel and I get the chance to confront those feelings. It's the happy songs that make you feel like shit and make you wish you could go back to two months ago and just not fuck things up. It's the happy songs that remind you, it's the happy songs that say remember when you felt this way?